Darvish Intelligence: Age Gap Relationships: What Does the Bible Really Say?

Thursday, February 20, 2025

Age Gap Relationships: What Does the Bible Really Say?

By Bobby Darvish, Iranian-American Ex-Muslim, Former Vegan, Former Democrat, Former Socialist, Former CAIR-Columbus Executive Director, Former Muslim Forum of Utah President, Christian Conservative LDS Priest

Biblical Wisdom on Age-Gap Relationships

In today's culture, there is growing criticism of age-gap relationships, particularly when a significantly older man pursues a relationship with a younger woman. Many secular voices label these unions as "creepy" or "problematic," despite their historical and biblical precedence. However, when we turn to Scripture, we find a vastly different perspective—one that upholds wisdom, responsibility, and the sanctity of marriage over arbitrary age concerns.

Biblical Precedents for Age-Gap Relationships

The Bible does not condemn age differences in relationships. Instead, it emphasizes faithfulness, mutual respect, and God's purpose for marriage. Consider the following biblical examples:

Abraham and Sarah – Abraham was ten years older than Sarah (Genesis 17:17), yet their marriage was a cornerstone of God’s covenant with His people.
Boaz and Ruth – The Book of Ruth presents a clear example of a significant age-gap relationship. Boaz, a wealthy and godly man, takes Ruth as his wife despite being notably older. This union was not only blessed but became part of the genealogy of Christ (Ruth 4:13-22; Matthew 1:5).
King David and Abishag – While not a marital relationship, Abishag was chosen to serve David in his old age (1 Kings 1:1-4). This demonstrates that age differences were neither uncommon nor seen as morally questionable.
Mary and Joseph – Many scholars believe that Joseph was significantly older than Mary when they were betrothed, yet God chose them as the earthly parents of Jesus Christ (Matthew 1:18-25).

God’s Design for Marriage: Beyond Age Differences

Scripture teaches that the foundation of a godly marriage is not age parity but spiritual unity, love, and commitment:

Ephesians 5:25 – “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This verse emphasizes sacrificial love over superficial societal expectations.
Proverbs 18:22 – “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” The Bible encourages marriage as a sacred union blessed by God, regardless of the couple’s age difference.
1 Corinthians 7:9 – Paul advises that if people struggle with self-control, they should marry rather than burn with passion. Nowhere does he impose restrictions on age gaps between spouses.

Why Modern Criticism of Age-Gap Relationships is Misguided

The secular left has made it their mission to demonize traditional relationships, yet they openly embrace non-biblical unions such as same-sex marriages, polyamory, and transgender relationships. This double standard highlights the ideological battle against traditional Christian values rather than any legitimate moral concern.

Age-gap marriages have historically been the norm, especially in biblical times, where older men provided stability and protection for younger wives.
Modern feminist ideology attacks these unions, claiming power imbalances while simultaneously advocating for casual relationships that often leave women emotionally and spiritually unfulfilled.
Christian marriages, including those with age gaps, are designed to be lifelong partnerships based on biblical principles, fostering strong families and godly offspring (Malachi 2:15).

Conclusion: Embracing Biblical Wisdom Over Secular Criticism

Age-gap relationships are not inherently immoral; rather, they should be evaluated based on biblical principles of love, commitment, and righteousness. The real question is not about age but about the couple’s dedication to God and to one another.

Rather than conforming to modern cultural pressures, Christians should look to Scripture for guidance. Marriage is a divine institution, and when approached with prayer, wisdom, and biblical discernment, it is always a blessing—regardless of the age difference between husband and wife.