By Bobby Darvish, Iranian-American Ex-Muslim, Former Vegan, Former Democrat, Former Socialist, Former CAIR-Columbus Executive Director, Former Muslim Forum of Utah President, Christian Conservative LDS
As an Iranian-American ex-Muslim and former leader within Islamic organizations, my journey to Christianity and conservatism involved peeling back the layers of Islamic teachings and cultural practices that were often romanticized or misunderstood in the West. One such aspect is the notorious Islamic sex manual, The Perfumed Garden (Al-Rawd al-‘Atir fi Nuzhat al-Khatir), written in the 15th century by Muhammad ibn Muhammad al-Nafzawi. Often referred to as the "Arab Kama Sutra," this text reveals troubling attitudes toward women, relationships, and morality under Islamic doctrine. My exploration of this book has only deepened my conviction that Islam, far from being a moral guide, fosters practices incompatible with Christian and Western ideals of dignity and respect for all people.
The Origins of The Perfumed Garden
Written in the Maghreb region (modern-day Tunisia), The Perfumed Garden aimed to educate men on sexual practices, relationships, and even aphrodisiacs. Unlike other historical texts on sexuality, such as the Hindu Kama Sutra—which, despite its own flaws, is often framed within a broader philosophy of love—The Perfumed Garden is unashamedly utilitarian, reducing women to tools for male satisfaction and societal reproduction. The author positions sex not as a mutual exchange of love and affection but as a means of dominating women, ensuring their subservience, and satisfying male desire.
Misogyny Disguised as Education
One of the most striking features of The Perfumed Garden is its overt misogyny. Women are frequently objectified and demeaned, described in ways that reduce them to their physical attributes or their ability to please men sexually. The text advises men to discipline women who disobey or fail to satisfy them, reflecting the Quranic allowance for wife-beating (Quran 4:34). This aligns with broader Islamic teachings that view women as inferior, their testimony worth half that of a man (Quran 2:282) and their autonomy subject to male guardianship.
For someone like me, raised in a culture where such attitudes were often normalized, The Perfumed Garden epitomized the institutionalized misogyny inherent in Islam. It was only after leaving Islam and embracing Christianity that I could fully appreciate the radical difference in how women are valued as equal heirs to the Kingdom of God (Galatians 3:28).
Islam’s Obsession with Sexual Control
Another disturbing theme in The Perfumed Garden is its obsession with controlling both male and female sexuality. While men are given near-unlimited freedom, including polygamy and concubinage, women are subjected to strict rules designed to curb their autonomy. The book even includes sections on detecting and punishing infidelity, further illustrating the deep mistrust of women ingrained in Islamic culture.
This reflects broader Islamic practices such as temporary marriages (mut’ah) in Shia Islam and misyar marriages in Sunni Islam, which effectively legalize prostitution under the guise of religious law. The sexual double standards presented in The Perfumed Garden are not anomalies but extensions of Islamic doctrines that prioritize male dominance over female dignity.
The Danger of Romanticizing Islamic Texts
In the West, there is a tendency to romanticize texts like The Perfumed Garden, framing them as exotic cultural artifacts. Such portrayals ignore the oppressive ideologies they represent. As a former vegan and socialist, I once believed in celebrating all cultures equally. However, my experiences within the Islamic community taught me that some traditions deserve critique rather than celebration.
Books like The Perfumed Garden perpetuate the same worldview that justifies honor killings, child marriages, and the subjugation of women under Islamic law. Ignoring these connections only enables the continued oppression of millions of women living under Sharia.
Christianity as the True Path to Freedom
In contrast to Islam’s oppressive doctrines, Christianity offers a path of love, mutual respect, and freedom. The teachings of Jesus Christ elevate women to equal standing with men, celebrating their inherent worth as daughters of God. My journey from Islam to Christianity has taught me that true liberation lies not in catering to base desires, as The Perfumed Garden advocates, but in honoring the divine potential within every individual.
Conclusion
The Perfumed Garden is more than a relic of history—it is a reflection of the deeper issues within Islamic teachings that degrade women and prioritize male dominance. By examining this text through the lens of an ex-Muslim turned Christian, I hope to shed light on the incompatibility of such ideologies with the values of freedom, dignity, and respect championed by Christianity and Western civilization.
Citations
- Al-Nafzawi, Muhammad ibn Muhammad. The Perfumed Garden. Translated by Sir Richard Francis Burton. 1886.
- The Quran. Surah 4:34, Surah 2:282.
- Galatians 3:28. The Holy Bible, New Testament.
- Mernissi, Fatima. Beyond the Veil: Male-Female Dynamics in Modern Muslim Society. Indiana University Press, 1987.
- Warraq, Ibn. Why I Am Not a Muslim. Prometheus Books, 1995.
- Spencer, Robert. The Truth About Muhammad: Founder of the World's Most Intolerant Religion. Regnery Publishing, 2006.
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