It is truly astonishing how some individuals can make grand declarations only to shamelessly contradict themselves without hesitation. My ex-girlfriend—who passionately swore that I was her last love, that she would die for me, and that she wouldn’t date again because she needed to “work on herself” after we broke up—completely flipped the script the moment she saw me having a conversation with another woman at a pub on February 5, 2025. She would not have even known I was there had it not been for her waitress friend, who called her and falsely claimed that I was on a date with another woman. That was a blatant lie—it was not a date at all. I had simply made a pit stop at the pub, grabbed a Coke and some chicken wings, and was sitting there when I struck up a casual conversation with a woman who happened to be there. She was talking about her roommate, and in response, I explained why I was stressed out—because I was dealing with my ex-girlfriend’s erratic and manipulative behavior. But, of course, my ex twisted the situation, accusing me of dating or cheating (which never happened), even though she had already broken up with me—first on January 24, 2025, after our falling-out conversation, and then again through a cold, one-sided text, blocking me after every message.
The most absurd part? Just two days later, on February 7, 2025, she not only blocked me again but also called my mother to officially declare that she was ending things. And yet, before that night at the pub—before she saw me simply talking to someone about her and trying to make sense of her behavior—she was still talking about “working things out” and “giving us another chance.”
Her controlling and toxic behavior extended far beyond just me—she was so erratic that she even alienated me from one of my friends due to her irrational outbursts against him. She constantly belittled Americans, Utahns, and Mormons, calling them “cheap” simply because they chose to wear what they wanted and did not feel the need to flaunt excessive wealth. She had no understanding of the efficient and industrious Mormon ideology—a mindset that values hard work, self-reliance, and modest living rather than empty displays of status. She failed to grasp that Americans, much like the ancient Romans who wore togas, wear t-shirts and jeans because they are part of an imperial power and do not need to prove anything. Unlike poverty-stricken countries like Iran, Afghanistan, or Turkey, where people compensate for their economic struggles by overdressing in suits and designer outfits, eating at expensive restaurants, and driving luxury cars just to show off, Americans—especially old money Americans—tend to be much more subtle in their wealth. She simply did not understand the difference between real affluence and performative affluence, and her worldview was as shallow as it was misguided.
To make matters worse, she had the audacity to tell my mother that I did not take her out to enough places, as if it was my duty to wine and dine her every night, spending hundreds of dollars on her at her every whim. In reality, she was completely ungrateful for anything I did or spent on her, and if I so much as mentioned the cost of something, she would get upset and call me cheap. The truth is, we are from two completely different class levels in every respect—academics, career, education, and family. I worked hard to build a solid foundation in my life, while she expected luxury without effort. She wanted the life of an aristocrat while carrying herself with the entitlement of a spoiled child.
And as if her behavior was not already outrageous, she repeatedly threatened to file a police report against me just for trying to have a normal conversation—simply because I wanted to talk without being blocked every time she decided to send one of her one-sided, narcissistic texts. Her erratic messages were completely insane, full of gaslighting and contradictions. I made it very clear to her that I had done absolutely nothing wrong for any police report to be justified. And I also warned her—if she ever tried to make false accusations against me, I would not hesitate to have the police and FBI investigate her refugee family, who are Iranian-Afghan immigrants all living together—five family members crammed into the same house. She wanted to play the victim while acting like a dictator, but she never considered that actions have consequences.
Looking back, I can see now that I fell for her narcissistic love bombing. In the beginning, she made me believe she was this incredible, caring, and deeply devoted person. She showered me with affection, grand promises, and intense declarations of love, convincing me that I was her last love and that she would die for me. I genuinely believed she was someone special, someone different. But in reality, it was all manipulation—just a tactic to draw me in and gain control over me. Once she had me hooked, her true nature came out: the jealousy, the controlling behavior, the hypocrisy, the constant gaslighting. It’s disappointing, not just because of who she turned out to be, but because I actually fell for it. I made a mistake in trusting someone so deceitful, and I regret wasting my time and energy on someone who never deserved it.
I don’t normally let things get to me, but her narcissistic lies, manipulative behavior, and real cheating—putting herself right back on Facebook Dating, actively searching for her next victim to feed her narcissistic supply—truly angered me. She wasn’t just a hypocrite; she was jealous, insecure, and controlling, still trying to dictate what I did even after she ended things. Looking back, I also started noticing deeply disturbing behaviors—she had tattoos she never mentioned, secretly smoked tobacco and weed, and drank massive amounts of alcohol whenever we went out, all while trying to present herself as someone completely different. It became clear that her words and actions were worlds apart.
On a positive note, I have recently noticed someone who truly stands out—she is very attractive, seems like a genuinely good person, and, unlike my ex, she actually shares my Christian LDS faith rather than being Muslim. What’s even more interesting is that she has been following my stories on Facebook for years, and I look forward to finally reaching out and meeting her once she gets back in town next month. At the end of the day, I just need someone I can trust—someone who isn’t a narcissist, a liar, or a walking contradiction.
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