Transparency in Romantic Relationships: Trust Through Open Dialogue

By Bobby Darvish, Iranian-American Ex-Muslim, Former Vegan, Former Democrat, Former Socialist, Former CAIR-Columbus Executive Director, Former Muslim Forum of Utah President, Former Pagan, Christian Conservative LDS Priest 

In any romantic relationship, trust forms the foundation. Without trust, no bond can truly endure, no matter how strong the initial attraction or how profound the shared values. A key component of trust is transparency, the ability and willingness to share openly with one another. This openness includes being forthcoming about the people we interact with, particularly when it comes to social engagements with members of the opposite sex.

It’s a reasonable expectation in a committed relationship to have clarity about who our partner is spending time with, particularly if it’s someone who might raise concerns or questions. If your girlfriend mentions she’s going to lunch with another woman, and you simply ask for that woman’s name, it’s a fair request. A loving, trust-based relationship thrives when both parties feel secure, not when they feel a need to protect or withhold information.

So why might she hesitate to share the name? Perhaps she fears judgment or assumptions. Perhaps she thinks the question itself signals a lack of trust. But instead of defensiveness, a more constructive approach would be openness. By sharing the details, she reinforces trust, showing that she respects and values the relationship’s transparency. It’s not about surveillance or control—it’s about mutual respect and a shared commitment to honesty.

In my experience, relationships are strongest when each person feels seen, understood, and respected. Transparency doesn’t just prevent misunderstandings; it strengthens the bond by demonstrating a willingness to communicate openly and in good faith. A simple name shared in conversation can become a symbol of that trust—a reminder that neither partner needs to hold back, that their relationship is built on honesty, and that both are equally invested in its success.

Citations:

1. Dr. John Gottman, The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples, W. W. Norton & Company, 2011.
2. Esther Perel, The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity, Harper, 2017.
3. Brene Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, Avery, 2012.