As someone who has traversed an extraordinary journey through diverse ideologies, faiths, and social systems, I have often reflected on the dynamics of male-female relationships. In my roles as a former Muslim leader, ex-CAIR executive, and now a Christian Conservative LDS Priest, I have witnessed countless cultural and spiritual narratives that shape the expectations between men and women. A troubling pattern I have observed, across cultures and generations, is the pervasive tendency for women to view men primarily as tools of protection and providers of resources rather than as individuals deserving of love and partnership.
This phenomenon, I argue, stems from a confluence of historical, biological, and ideological factors. While some of these factors are rooted in the natural order, others are distortions perpetuated by modern societal constructs. Understanding this reality is critical, not to incite division, but to foster a more meaningful dialogue about the nature of relationships in today's world.
The Historical and Biological Basis
Historically, the division of labor between men and women was dictated by survival. In ancient times, men bore the physical burden of hunting, protecting communities, and ensuring the survival of their families. Women, by contrast, were primarily tasked with nurturing children and managing the domestic sphere. This dynamic often led women to prioritize a man's ability to provide and protect over his emotional or spiritual qualities.
Biology played a significant role in reinforcing this dynamic. Evolutionary psychology suggests that women have historically selected mates based on traits like strength, resourcefulness, and stability. These traits directly correlated with survival and the successful rearing of offspring. However, in modern societies, where physical danger and scarcity are less prominent, one might expect these priorities to shift. Yet, many women still subconsciously or consciously emphasize these traits, even in relationships where mutual love and respect should be paramount.
Cultural Distortions and the Commodification of Men
The rise of feminist and Marxist ideologies has further entrenched the view of men as utility figures. Under the guise of "equality," these movements often strip men of their intrinsic value as individuals, reducing them to what they can offer materially or socially. Modern media amplifies this narrative, portraying men as mere accessories in a woman's journey to empowerment or success.
Such distortions are not only dehumanizing but also deeply harmful to the institution of marriage and the spiritual union between man and woman as ordained by God. As a Christian Conservative LDS Priest, I believe that marriage is a sacred covenant where both partners are called to love and serve each other unconditionally. When relationships are built on transactional expectations rather than mutual love, they become fragile and prone to failure.
The Role of Faith and Spirituality in Restoring Balance
The teachings of Jesus Christ offer a profound antidote to this distorted view of men. In Christian theology, men and women are seen as equal heirs to God's kingdom, each endowed with unique gifts and responsibilities. Men are called to lead with love, humility, and sacrifice, while women are called to support and nurture with grace and compassion. This divine design transcends the materialistic expectations that often dominate secular relationships.
As an Iranian-American ex-Muslim and former socialist, I have seen firsthand how ideologies that reject God lead to the commodification of human beings. Islam, for example, often reduces men to providers and enforcers of strict patriarchal rules, while women are objectified as vessels for reproduction. Similarly, Marxism reduces all human relationships to economic transactions, stripping them of their spiritual significance. It is only through the gospel of Jesus Christ that we can reclaim the sacredness of love and partnership.
A Personal Reflection
My own journey has been shaped by these dynamics. As a former Muslim leader, I was often viewed through the lens of my status and what I could provide to others. It wasn't until I embraced the teachings of Jesus Christ and joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that I began to experience relationships built on genuine love and mutual respect. My marriage, grounded in faith and commitment, is a testament to the transformative power of Christ-centered love.
Conclusion
If we are to restore balance in relationships, we must challenge the cultural and ideological narratives that reduce men to tools of protection and provision. We must return to the biblical principles that affirm the inherent worth of every individual and the sacred nature of marriage. Women must learn to see men as whole persons—imperfect but deserving of love and companionship. Men, in turn, must rise to the calling of leadership and service, not out of obligation but out of love.
In a world that often devalues both men and women, let us strive to build relationships that honor God and reflect His divine plan for humanity.
Citations
- Buss, David M. The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating. Basic Books, 2003.
- Clark, Stephen R. L. Aristotle's Man: Speculations Upon Aristotelian Anthropology. Clarendon Press, 1975.
- Paul, Elliott. Feminism and Individualism in Marriage. Oxford University Press, 2020.
- Holy Bible, King James Version.
- Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The Family: A Proclamation to the World. 1995.
- Sorokin, Pitirim. The Crisis of Our Age. Oneworld Publications, 1992.
- Dalrock. "Feminism’s Long Shadow in Modern Relationships." Faith and Gender Studies Quarterly, 2017.
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