By Bobby Darvish, Iranian-American Christian Conservative & Ex-Muslim
Growing up in a traditional Iranian family, I witnessed what real marriage looked like. My parents were married for 50 years until the day my father passed away. It wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t always easy, but it was sacred. It was rooted in duty, in family, and in God. And as I look at what’s happened to marriage in America and Western Europe today, I realize how much this sacred institution has been eroded by modern liberalism, radical feminism, and a culture obsessed with self over sacrifice.
In Eastern European and many Asian cultures, marriage is still seen as more than just a romantic arrangement. It’s a covenant. A duty. A family legacy. Divorce isn’t normalized—it’s seen as a tragedy. Elders are honored, traditional gender roles are respected, and marriage is a commitment to something larger than yourself. These cultures understand that building a home, raising children, and honoring one another across decades is a noble pursuit—one that gives life stability, identity, and continuity.
But in the modern West, that vision has been torched. In America and Western Europe, marriage has become optional, disposable, and often postponed until people are too jaded, too broken, or too selfish to make it work. Radical feminism mocks women who want to be wives and mothers. Hookup culture encourages men to avoid responsibility and chase temporary pleasure. Universities push narcissistic “gender theory” and self-obsession over discipline, sacrifice, and family building. And let’s not forget Hollywood—always eager to glorify adultery, dysfunction, and rebellion, while mocking faith and tradition.
The West rewards cohabitation and casual sex but punishes marriage with high taxes, biased family courts, and state welfare that subsidizes single motherhood. In many ways, it’s not that marriage has failed—it’s that the culture has failed marriage.
Even among Christians in the West, the influence of secularism and moral relativism has chipped away at marriage as a sacred vow before God. Churches are less willing to speak out against divorce or promiscuity, afraid of being labeled “judgmental” or “patriarchal.” Meanwhile, Muslims, Hindus, and Orthodox Christians in the East still hold fast to their doctrines—flawed as they may be—because they understand something the West has forgotten: a nation cannot survive when the family collapses.
My parents didn’t stay married for 50 years because it was convenient. They stayed married because it was right. Because God commanded it. Because legacy mattered. Because they believed in something greater than themselves.
Until America and the West return to those values—faith, duty, gender clarity, and family first—marriage will continue to crumble. But in places where faith still rules the heart and family is still sacred, marriage remains what it was always meant to be: a holy, lifelong covenant.
Citations:
-
Eberstadt, Mary. How the West Really Lost God: A New Theory of Secularization. Templeton Press, 2013.
-
Fagan, Patrick. “The Family Portrait: A Look at the Social Outcomes of Marriage.” Marriage and Religion Research Institute (MARRI), 2016. https://marri.us
-
Pew Research Center. “The Decline of Marriage and Rise of New Families.” 2010. https://www.pewresearch.org
-
Barna Group. “State of the Church 2020.” 2020. https://www.barna.com/research/state-of-the-church-2020
-
Wilcox, W. Bradford, and Nicholas Zill. “Strong Families, Prosperous States.” American Enterprise Institute, 2015. https://www.aei.org
No comments:
Post a Comment